BALTIMORE - Big things, small packages. You know the saying. And never has it held more true than when diminutive Hollywood actor Verne Troyer dropped by as special guest host of Raw in the run-up to the WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs pay-per-view.
Triple H def. Unified Tag Team Champion Chris Jericho
Just before heading out to confront Chris Jericho, Triple H and Shawn Michaels were irked by Hornswoggle when the little guy reminded them that he hasn't given up on the idea of taking legal action against the two for emotional distress.
Unified Tag Team Champion Chris Jericho is none too pleased. During his no count-outs, no disqualifications match against Triple H, the mouthy egomaniac enjoyed several opportunities to put away his opponent, but he simply could not overcome The Game. While that fact alone is enough to leave a welt, the sting becomes compounded by the realization that he must now face DX next week in a 2-on-1 Handicap Match, a match that Triple H insisted will be Jericho’s last on Raw once DX takes the gold away from Jeri-Show.
With Jericho staring down the barrel of a 2-on-1 situation against DX, the momentum clearly shifts to Triple H & Shawn Michaels as the two teams look toward their TLC Match at WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs.
Next week’s special guest host will be Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban
They say everything is bigger in Texas – even the controversy. To prove it, the ever-opinionated owner of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban, will be honored as special guest host next week when Raw rolls into Dallas.
Mark Henry def. United States Champion The Miz in a Non-Title Match
Being The World’s Strongest Man doesn’t mean you have the world’s thickest skin. After The Miz questioned whether Mark Henry had any personality, the big guy’s feelings appeared bruised. Just to prove Miz wrong, Henry laid down a slammin’ rap with special guest host Verne Troyer. Then, after pumping up the crowd, Henry proceeded to beat down The Miz.
The World’s Strongest Man and the “Mini Me” actor then invited a bouquet of Divas out, and they all danced in the center of the ring to celebrate.
John Cena called out Sheamus
Having survived being blindsided by Sheamus the week prior, WWE Champion John Cena dared The Celtic Warrior to try and slam him through a table again. Rather than Sheamus, though, The Champ received Carlito in the ring.
The Boriqua brother admitted that were Cena to lose at WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs, Carlito and, allegedly, a host of other Superstars would cheer at the tops of their lungs. Carlito described how he and others are tired of always seeing Cena’s name atop the marquee. Before Carlito could spit his trademark apple in The Champ’s face, though, Cena beat him down and sent him scurrying. That’s when Sheamus showed, but he only stared Cena down before leaving to fight another day.
Randy Orton def. Kofi Kingston
If you can’t beat ‘em … get two cronies to soften ‘em up first – call it The Orton Creed. Before Randy Orton’s match against Kofi Kingston, his Legacy henchmen, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, each executed separate attacks on The Dreadlock Dynamo. Determined to carry on, Kofi insisted he felt up to the challenge of Orton. Despite a valiant effort, however, Kingston appeared too fazed by the previous strikes and fell to Orton, who continued to viciously assail his opponent long after the bell.
Special guest host Verne Troyer arranged United States Champion The Miz vs. Mark Henry
Leave it to The Miz to come up with a line that took all the creative energy of two hamsters on a treadmill. The United States Champion promised special guest host Verne Troyer that he would be nice to him and even give the actor, who stars in the upcoming fantasy adventure film The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, one million dollars! Get it? Like in Austin Powers? Ugh.
After Troyer mentally disarmed Miz, the self-proclaimed “Awesome One” was set to punt the little guy when Mark Henry decided to put the bully in his place. After more verbal vomit from Miz, Troyer finally decided to arrange a match pitting the United States Champion against The World’s Strongest Man. Yeeeaahhh, baby!
Sheamus pummeled Santino Marella
Sheamus doesn’t exactly come across as a lampshade-on-the-head type of guy. Which may explain why he became enraged at not being taken seriously last week just before he attacked WWE Champion John Cena during a contract signing for their Tables Match at WWE TLC. To emphasize the point, this week The Celtic Warrior challenged the only Superstar on the Raw roster he considers “a joke,” Santino Marella. Before the bout could even take place, though, Sheamus pummeled Santino, hurling him through a table and dismissively leaving him immobile.
Maryse & Jillian def. Divas Champion Melina & Gail Kim
After disguising herself as The Gobbledy Gooker last week and ambushing Melina from behind, Maryse was forced this week to face the Divas Champion head-on. The conceited Canadian teamed with Jillian in a clash against the lovely Latina & Gail Kim. Perhaps her time recovering from injury fueled Maryse since she actually managed to pin Melina without making any "poultry" excuses.
Jeri-Show and DX arranged Chris Jericho vs. Triple H for tonight
With less than two weeks until WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs, Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show presented their case against their rivals straight to the WWE Universe. The two rattled off a list of reasons they felt DX was unworthy of facing them in a Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match.
For their part, DX objected – strenuously. Triple H & Shawn Michaels stated that they’re eager to shut the mouths of their opponents once and for all. In fact, The Game challenged Jericho to a singles match, which the self-important Superstar grudgingly accepted. The four even figured out a way to raise the stakes. The match will involve no count-outs or disqualifications, and the loser must face the opposing team next week in a 2-on-1 Handicap Match.
